2008 into 2009

Well, well, well. Two Thousand Eight. What. A. Year. So many things happened to me that I couldn’t believe possible to happen for me. I cannot even begin, but where to start?! I guess probably at the beginning of 2008!

I started off the year a bit distraught from my bad experience working at a major airline. I had to leave for unfortunate reasons, so I was left without a job and not in school. I had spent rest of 2007 sitting at home on the computer doing nothing. Life was wasting away and fast. I didn’t like it. I was a bit confused in my life right now. I was about to turn 21 in Feb and a lot of the goals I had set for myself personally hadn’t been accomplished yet.

I always knew I was bisexual at least, I never questioned that. I stumbled by happen chance to a website about a deaf man who was also gay. Hmmh, to my surprise there was someone else like me?! I know that was probably a stupid question but for a guy who lived entirely in the hearing world, and where being gay was still not the most open thing ever, I was shocked to see it. I logged on to his website started talking to him and grilled him 50 million questions. I couldn’t believe it, I met another gay man who was also deaf too!

I met so many more deaf people online. In 2008 I met more deaf people online or in person then any other year as far as I can remember all thanks to Seekgeo’s site, www.seekgeo.com I of course had to go visit him and his boyfriend Jes to hang out and be around someone else who was deaf like me. As I had never had that.

I began to meet more gay people in the spring but not deaf just hearing. I soon found my comfort level and was amazed to meet and hang with people who were also Gay and bisexual like me. We had things in common and that was great to me. But alas, I was still alone and lonely. No girl or guy really gave me a chance to date me or try me out or anything.

Then one Sunday after work, the weight of being gay weighed on me and I broke down and cried. Not ashamed that I was gay, but the fact I was hiding it from my mom. I couldn’t stand lying anymore. The people I was seeing, where I was going. I wanted to be able to say I lived a life of truth. To quote a guy I know from a TV show I watched “I have been called names, had stuff thrown at me, and been humiliated but if there is one thing I can say above the rest, is that I never, ever had to live a lie” I agreed and wanted to be like him.

So come June 26th, 2008, ironically pride day in St. Louis, I came out to my mother and to any other friend who wanted to know or asked me. My mother then said, “well finally it’s about damn time, do I need to buy you condoms? When can we go to the gay bar?” I was so relieved, and was mad I hid it for this long. Of course she was ok with it, she already knew! She just wanted me to tell her on my own time.

The rest of the summer went ok, continued to hang with friends I went to a gay bar too which wasn’t to bad either! I traveled a bit more, meeting more people when possible.

Then in September I met a guy. I don’t know where we are right now but he is a great guy, cute I might add ha-ha, and we are enjoying the time together and that really is all I can ask.

I think 2008 turned out better for me then I expected. I learned SO much from that year from friends and families, met so many people in just 12 months, and finally met someone who is giving me a chance. Where will it go? I don’t know, I may have my heart broken by him or I may end up moving with him. I don’t know, just go with the flow is all I can say.

2009 may be harder for me, now that I am out, and seeing a guy, I stand to lose a lot for those who are against gay people. But to those who don’t want to get to know me because of that, it is entirely their loss and I don’t aim to waste my time with them. I do look forward to 2009 more now that I met a lot more of my goals and setting up new ones for myself.

So, thanks 2008 for teaching me a lot, and 2009 I welcome you with open arms and hope whatever happens in 2009, it was done in my best interest, and I will know in the end why the things that happened, happened.

Alex