Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Losing a Pet

It is true, when you lose a pet, it really does feel like losing a family member. One who protects you in every way. I lost my dog, Cubby, a Male German Shepard, suddenly out of the blue Monday afternoon. The cause of death was undetermined but was lead to believe it was simply heart failure, rather a collapse of the arteries. My dog was only 9 yrs old, just hitting his prime in dog years. He had a good 2 or 3 yrs left of his life.

I had just woken up and showered, and heard my mother come in for lunch. I walked out to say hello and make quick plans for the afternoon, Plans that were never going to happen. We talked maybe 2 or 3 minutes. Mom went outside to the garden to do something. I noticed my dog, Cubby didn’t follow her outside. He always did that, no questions asked. This should have been a concern to me but for some reason I pushed it away.

I walked into the living room to say Hi to my brother Jordan. I noticed Cubby lying down in the living room hallway sleeping. I thought how odd he is sleeping he doesn’t do that when we are home. I yelled his name to wake him up so we could take him outside. He didn’t move. How odd again. I motioned towards him calling his name over, stamping the floor trying to get him to wake up. I still thought he was just in a deep sleep. Then, I noticed his tongue was sticking out. It was like someone had wacked me in the stomach, I knew without thinking anything else he was dead.

But how, or what happened?! He was just alive an hour ago, we took him out, he was fine! I ran to him, and screamed his name, half hysterical, half furious no one saw anything. I shook him a bit, screaming his name again begging him to wake up. I kind of pushed his chest a bit, stupidly thinking it would get his heart going. I listened for breathing, and looked. Nothing, he was not breathing at all. I felt for his heart and gasped immediately. No heartbeat, in fact his body was extremely warm. He had just died not minutes before I walked in the room.

I started crying, couldn’t believe he was gone and again furious as to what happened. Did he really just collapse out of the blue like that?! A perfectly healthy, 9-Year-Old dog, like mine die suddenly? Not possible, I refused to admit it! I called mom in the house half sobbing, telling her cubby was dead or something was wrong with him. Mom freaked and jumped over him doing the same thing I had been doing. I kept saying stop, he is gone, and he is dead. But nothing. Kept going on. Finally after 5 or 10 minutes we accepted reality, my dog had passed away, yet so unexpectedly which created a shock and horror among us.

I called my grandma over, while Mom called her b/f over too. I called Dad to let him know what happened. We all came over and just grieved together but still so stunned and stumped as to what happened. Did he choke? No, we would have heard him. Gagged? Poison? Something killed him; dogs that healthy do NOT drop dead! Not at all. I didn’t want to wake up on that day to find my dog, dead in the living room hallway. Hell No.

We buried him outside Monday afternoon besides the garden near a bench. He is buried under the shade in the trees area. We buried him with a couple of toys, and his dog bowl. Mom kept his collar. We let my other dog, Dugout out with us. She walked near the grave, sat near her, and rested her head on the grave. She then perked up (I think she smelled him) got a bit excited, and started to dig at the grave, then stopped. She started to listen to the grave with her ears perked up. She then whined and lay back down. This was enough for me and I lost it again. I just couldn’t believe it had happened.

I went through my first day without him, and it is so very hard. I miss hearing him walk across the wooden floor. When I come home from work, I hold my breath and sigh, and listen. But, no barking from him signaling he is ok and ready for us to come home. When the doorbell rings, the silence is deafening. No barking at all, just the doorbell ringing. I sigh and go answer the door, not having to block the dog from escaping out of the house. I miss tripping over him in the kitchen as he tries to get some food from me. I sigh when I see a clump of black hair. That darned dog always had to shed! No more, shoot I might be missing the shedding!

Anyhow, I just wanted to share my feelings about what happened on that horrible day and what I had to go through. I hope no one ever goes through what I just did in the manner it was handled. Oh the vet called and thinks the dog died due to heart failure, rather collapse of the arteries. She did not want to say heart attack because according to her dogs do not have heart attacks. Whatever it was we won’t ever know.

He was one of my friends and was always there for me. I could always turn to him. I thought a nice song could help this blog as well.

"I Turn to You-Christina Aguilera



Roselil said...

I'm so sorry for your loss... No words can describe. I can imagine it was a very big shock for you.

Abbie said...

Oh honey! I wish there was some thing I could say or do that will erase the pain. I am just so sorry that it had to happen like that. I just want to give you the biggest hug!!!

I want to share with you the dog's prayer.

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will
more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a domesticated animal,no longer used to bitter elements.

And I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.

Though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my god and I am your devoted worshiper.

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.

Feed me clean food, that I may stay well,to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.

And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you.

Rather, hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest - and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

Lisa C. said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Pets are the part of the families.

Seek Geo said...

Hi Alex!

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and also you had to find him like that. It is like losing a family member. Reading this post has brought me some tears! *sighs*

Think about many wonderful memories you had with him.

I hope everything is okay with you all. I am sure Chubby is very appreciated knowing he had a wonderful family caring for him in past 9 years.



Paws Awhile said...

My dog, Shundari, passed away on the 7th of November. I went to sleep seeing her playing with her 2-year old puppy. They were running around, wrestling. A few hours later, I was woken up to be told that she had suddenly collapsed while playing.

She passed away within moments. She was my daughter, my best friend, my support system, and while she did not suffer, I still keep wondering if there was something I could have done to keep her alive.